The journey of writing my book has been fraught with stops and starts. I never considered myself a writer, but after writing 496 pages, I owned that I had a message to share. I then had a strong intuitive hit that the book, which I’d originally envisioned would share the learning garnered from exploring other people’s choices, needed to be expanded to incorporate the wisdom and process I’d extracted from creating many personal maps.
How might I do that when I created each of my maps with the rawness of a private journal I never imagined sharing?
Knowing I couldn’t continue until I found my way, I chose to sit with this question and take refuge from my writing. Giving myself space from writing caused me to question whether I would lose my passion for my message. Was I a phony to share that I was writing a book when I wasn’t actually writing? Would my book gather digital dust, never to see the light of day?
My biggest fear was that if I stopped writing and sharing my message, would I ever do anything that mattered, and would I ever make a real difference to those who needed my words? Instead, each morning, I had to find grace to stay hopeful, and trust I’d know when it was time to begin writing again.
Two years later, with the timing feeling right, I chose to start writing, and began to explore my fears and potential. Since I’d let so much time elapse, I questioned how I’d find my way back to my message. Was the content still within me and did I have more to give?
I committed to the simple action of waking at 5 AM each morning to write, no excuses. As I open my computer, I remind myself that I have a meaningful message to share and that it’s my responsibility to unearth it. Knowing I’d evolved since the book’s first iteration, I often wonder how I’ll transcend my old words and bring the book to life with who I’ve become during its hibernation.
I choose to show up each morning brave and faithful, tackling a sentence at a time, pulling apart thoughts, seeking the right words to convey my truth, vulnerably but safely.
For a time, just wanting to enjoy the process of writing, I chose to not focus on the finality of the book’s ending, knowing the journey was as important as its completion. It’s apparent it was part of my journey for my book to have its time to lay dormant.
But now I dream that as my book makes its way into the world, it will be a beacon drawing to me those who care about my message. I’ll then have the opportunity to connect with them more intimately and take them to a deeper level with more personalized attention…
Will that be you?