After living in the same area for much of her life, and feeling very ready for a change, my good friend chose to explore moving to a new city. Her life felt infused with a low-grade stagnant energy and she feared if she didn’t ultimately make a change she’d become withdrawn and insular — she craved a new foundation upon which to build her life.
As we began her exploration, we discussed her answers to the following questions to open her mind to thinking more expansively about her move.
I first asked why she wanted to move and what she felt would happen, or not, if she didn’t.
- Why do you want to move?
- What do you feel will happen if you don’t leave?
- What fears come up around the uncertainty of a new location?
Then, we discussed the specifics of what she was looking for in a new location.
- What locations will you explore?
- What do you love about where you currently live?
- What’s important to you in a new location?
- What feels exciting about the newness of a different location?
As an empty nester who can work wherever she has her phone and computer, she had flexibility in choosing her location. She candidly shared her fears around the uncertainty of who she’d meet after her move, how she’d build a community, and her concern of being alone. Although she was apprehensive about having so much uncertainty in her life, continuing her status quo life was more painful.
Intuitively, the time felt ripe to leave — she’d stopped growing and wanted to be in a city with greater vibrancy and opportunity. After posing the question of where to move to her friends on social media, she received a multitude of unexpected suggestions. She kicked off a journey to explore a variety of cities, and follow the breadcrumbs, which created a dynamic pull into newness that felt exciting and magnetic.
We then focused on the possibilities and actions of moving.
- What feels exciting as you consider this change?
- What may be possible for you?
- What are the short-term actions you’ll take to explore moving?
- What will you do to begin creating a new community?
This map documents the breadth of questions and answers we explored. From the aerial perspective you can see the exploration supporting her to make her choice while maintaining privacy around her specific details.
Although she felt anxious to let go of what was secure and familiar, she began to imagine what was possible for her life in a way that extended beyond a literal move. By turning her gaze to potential coupled with a sense of openness, she created momentum around her desire for change and transformation, and invited possibility to present itself in unexpected ways.
Through the process of considering these questions, an idea that initially felt big and scary transformed itself into a beckoning call — what might happen as she opened herself up to an experience, off the conventional path, that had the potential to enrich and expand her life?